Unhooked Generation | by Jillian Straus

"Straus, a producer for The Oprah Winfrey Show, has lived an independent life typical of her Gen-X peers. But in this perceptive book, based on interviews with 100 heterosexual singles across the country, she concludes that the myriad choices enjoyed by 20-and 30-somethings have led to a sense of hopelessness and cynicism about relationships and a deep fear of commitment that's often felt as a "fear of settling." She lists cultural factors that place obstacles in the way of intimacy, among them an obsessive focus on independence and career, the aftereffects of feminism, and reliance on distancing new technologies such as instant messaging and online personals. Straus writes in a lively style replete with buzzwords, yet offers tough conclusions. While both men and women have impossible expectations, Straus observes that Gen-Xers prefer to "upgrade" rather than work on a relationship. And the compulsion to have lots of casual sex with attractive partners conflicts with the goal of finding a mate. The book ends with stories of couples who have succeeded in finding and keeping love. Straus argues convincingly that in order to open yourself to love, you cannot keep your options open--you have to commit all the way." — Publishers Weekly

ADVANCE PRAISE

“Dude, you really should read this book. Women will read this book, but men need to. Unhooked Generation is written with fluidity, humor, and a sense of purpose, all of which make it fascinating. In short, Jillian Straus rocks.” — Greg Behrendt, coauthor of He's Just Not that Into You and It's Called A Breakup Because It's Broken.

“In this timely book, Jillian Straus gives voice to dozens of still-singles, rife with fear, confusion, and desire. Straus’s observations are astute, and her common-sense approach to commitment is ultimately comforting and practical. Readers who begin the book biting their lips and grimacing in recognition will likely finish with a satisfied — and hopeful — smile.” — Pamela Paul, author of Pornified: How Pornography is Transforming Our Lives, Our Relationships and Our Families and The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony.

“Unhooked Generation thoroughly and refreshingly explores today’s complex and sometimes cruel world of dating.” — Abby Wilner, author of Quarterlife Crisis

“If you want to know why you’re still single (and you certainly do) stop asking the question into the mirror. The marriage delay is not just about you, it’s about an entire generation living through a time when all the rules of courtship are shifting under our feet. To understand what’s really going on you need to take a journey into the bizarre social landscape of our modern times. And for that trip you need a sharp-eyed and trustworthy guide: None better than Jillian Straus.” — Ethan Watters, author of Urban Tribes: Are Friends the New Family

“Jillian Straus has written an excellent indictment of Generation X’s consumerist approach to love. Her expose of the ways we date and the ways we choose partners is both damning and embarrassingly funny. Her critique of the Evil Influences and her recommendations for change are spot on.” — Po Bronson, author of What Should I Do With My Life and Why Do We Love These People

“Jillian Straus not only writes in an accessible and engaging fashion but she covers all the key factors that are playing a role in this conundrum so many are facing. It’s a book I would give to my patients and friends alike because it normalizes a struggle that millions are facing, making them feel understood, less alone and less crazy!” — Laura Berman, author of Secrets of the Sexually Satisfied Woman

“This is an important book. It will help any single person willing to take it seriously to "unhook" from the cultural trance about marriage and guide them to lasting love. Straus clearly and exhaustively identifies the barriers to love of this generation and guides them to the core secret of marriage. It should be read by anyone searching for love. It deserves widespread attention.” — Harville Hendrix, Ph. D, author of Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide and Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

“Every man and woman under 40 who yearns for a happy committed relationship must read Jillian Straus’s shocking and persuasive exploration of love and love lost among the ‘Unhooked Generation.’ This book will give readers the ‘aha!’ of recognition they have been waiting for. Unmissable.” — Naomi Wolf