Monday May 01, 2006 07:59 PM

“THE BAD DATER”

I was recently the guest at a book club discussing my book. All of the single women were venting about recent dates. One woman said the guy she was set up with didn't make a reservation. Another woman complained that her date didn't call her with enough notice. While these women all had a reason to be frustrated it occurred to me that courtship--the process by which we decide whether or not we will have a long-term relationship with someone--is really not a good predictor of what kind of boyfriend or husband a man will make. Most of us judge the person by how good of a dater or planner they are but many of my happy committed friends tell me that the men in their lives are wonderful partners but didn't exactly wow them in the courtship phase. When you think about it once you are in a long-term relationship does it really matter who makes the reservation? So what if he isn't a planner? Just because hasn't mastered date etiquette doesn't mean he won't be a wonderful, loyal, partner who makes you smile. The next time you are tempted to refuse a second date because the guy didn't handle things exactly the way you would have liked THINK AGAIN!

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