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ARCHIVE Mar 19, 2006 - Mar 25, 2006Feb 12, 2006 - Feb 18, 2006 Feb 05, 2006 - Feb 11, 2006 Jan 22, 2006 - Jan 28, 2006 Jan 15, 2006 - Jan 21, 2006 Dec 18, 2005 - Dec 24, 2005 |
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Friday Feb 17, 2006 10:27 AM “Under Pressure” By now many of you have probably had a chance to read "Unhooked Generation." I would love to hear your thoughts. What did you relate to? Did you see yourself in any of the stories? Was there any advice that was particularly helpful to you? |
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READ COMMENTS TO "Under Pressure"
Hi.
Posted By:
Paul Miner
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Thursday Mar 02, 2006 10:19 AM
Hi.
Posted By:
Paul Miner
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Thursday Mar 02, 2006 10:21 AM
Jillian, Your book was so amazing because it gives us (successful young professionals with countless options) permission to love someone who is not perfect and therefore love our unperfect selves as well. I have been teetering back and forth over my feelings for someone who has been in my life for the past three years. We both have been unable to commit to each other, presumably because we are so young (25 and 26) and don't know where life will take us. But when I see him, when I see his smile, I completely melt. He has countless flaws, but I now realize they are irrelvant. What food a person eats, and what sports they like to play are not and should not be dealbreakers. I finally get it. But that is not the problem. Now that I get it, and I get why so many people are afraid to commit, I am afraid he won't understand what I now do. I know this is the man I want to marry. I know that I make him light up too. But what if he doesn't see what I see, and know, because of your help, your book? I would love for you to comment on what you do when you finally realize everything that has been holding you back, but are unsure if the other person does too. Because afteralll, the love stories at the end of your book were about a partner who "got it" and the relationships only worked because the other partner eventually came around and "got it" too.
Posted By:
N
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Saturday Mar 04, 2006 11:59 AM
Speaking as a near-30 male, I think women, in general, do have it more difficult, at least from the mid-30s onward. Based from what I have read from other people, women in their 40s and men in their 20s have it rough: women are generally beyond their child-bearing years, and younger men are usually not "established" enough for a lot of women to consider them. However, I do not relish the idea of becoming a father in my 40s. I at least want to have some energy and not be a senior citizen while raising teenagers! BTW, Jilian, I have not ordered your book yet, but what I have read and observed, your book is a timely piece. I know the Boomers have it rough with their love lives, but it has only gotten worse with us Xers, and there hasn't been much attention devoted to us. You are to be commended for writing about such an important subject for our generation.
Posted By:
greenjeans
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Sunday Mar 12, 2006 07:14 PM
I am in the middle of your book. So far, VERY well written and VERY well researched. As a single guy (age 32 and dateless for longer than I care to think)out there in a rural area, I would like to know where these women are who complain in your interviews. Out here, it is virtually impossible to find someone to even ask out on a date (even my female co-workers have said there are no women in this area for their brothers to date...) I will send more when I complete the book. I think it does hit home on several points of our generation.
Posted By:
Eric Goff
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Monday Mar 13, 2006 05:10 AM
Jillian, I just finished your book and whew! Just wanted to give you a big THANK YOU. I'm a 34 y/o single mom and I really thought that I had a huge capacity to love....but your book showed me that even I have some things to learn. I started dating older than most and really was just going on what I believed to be the right thing to do and listening to girlfriends. Not a good way! I've grown up a lot in the last ten years.....and I know that I want to give so much to a wonderful man who really wants a friend and a lover. Thanks so much for helping me through some subjects I had been thinking about for years. The book made so much sense.....This is definitely a must read for all those Gen-Xers looking for real love. Thanks again and Good luck with the book!
Posted By:
Helena
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Monday Mar 13, 2006 11:35 AM
Just finishing your book. Although I am a 64 year old wasp male attorney, divorced and dating 12 years, my experiences remarkably parallel those of Generation X as related within the text of your book. Just thought you would like to know this situation is culture-wide today rather than confined to a particular age group. If you want more information on my experiences for research, just let me know. Bob
Posted By:
Bob
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Sunday Mar 19, 2006 05:11 PM
First let me say that I have not had the chance to read the book yet, but I plan to as soon as my girlfriend finishes. I have read various reviews and excerpts and look forward to reading it in its entirety. The one complaint I have with many of the books out now which attempt to analyze the sorry state of romantic relationships among young people is that they tend to blame the individual - men don\'t want to commit, and women no longer need men for financial reasons; Men and women are too selfish these days; Or, both men and women fear divorce because they saw their parents marriages end this way. Why not question the institution of marriage itself? Why not examine our expectations and fantasies about how relationships should be? Why do we think long term or forever means success and short term means failure? What is the value in "committing" anyway?What if people who are afraid to commit really just don't want to commit or reserve love for just one person forever? (None of the great spiritual masters were married). Is forever realistic? Does anything last forever? It is true that most of us still want to find the security of "lasting" love and our "soul mates" - that one person who will meet most of our needs.(And where did the idea of soul-mates even come from)? However, just because we desire this kind of relationship doesn't mean our expectations are realistic or that it exists. I think it's possible that human beings are evolving beyond the constraints of traditional marriage, but marriage as an institution has not evolved. Statistics tell us that almost 50% of marriages end in divorce and that the rates of infidelity are beyond that (making it no longer abberant but normative behavior). Why is this bad? Why do we continue to beat ourselves up when "we" or other cultural factors may not be the problem? How come no one is willing to take on these questions?
Posted By:
Lucy
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Wednesday Mar 22, 2006 11:42 AM
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