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“Under Pressure”

By now many of you have probably had a chance to read "Unhooked Generation." I would love to hear your thoughts. What did you relate to? Did you see yourself in any of the stories? Was there any advice that was particularly helpful to you?

When I started doing research for this book I decided I wanted to look at single men and women in a very even-handed way. It was not my goal to complain about men or to just get answers for my single girlfriends. I wanted to look at the frustrations men have with women today and vice versa. I wanted this to be a book that both men and women learn from and enjoy. I am thrilled to hear from so many male readers that the book has really resonated with them.
Many people have asked me whether I think men or women have it tougher on the dating scene today. Men vented their frustrations with women who wanted them to be both "alpha males" and also the "sensitive guy." Women have complained about men who say they want a career woman but then expect her to cook and be domestic. Today both men and women are delaying marriage, at least in part, because there is little societal pressure to tie the knot. Women of course have the very real pressure of their biological clocks, which for many is terrifying. In that sense, I have to say we have it tougher. However, I am surprised to hear from some men lately that they too feel biological pressure. They say they fear becoming old fathers. While I am not convinced that pressure is quite as intense as what women experience, I would love to hear more about this. Men, please let me know if you feel this pressure. Women, I'd love to know if you think you have it much tougher on the dating scene.

Posted At: 10:27 AM  | Permalink  | Comments (8)

“Valentine's Day”

I'm thrilled to welcome you all to the Unhooked Generation blog. After two years of hard work, Unhooked Generation will finally be released in bookstores on Wednesday. As members of this generation, I want to hear from you. Most immediately, what are your feelings about Valentine's Day?

Last week I was having dinner with four single, successful, attractive girlfriends. At the front of the restaurant a small placard listed a special menu for Valentine's Day. One of my friends grabbed the placard and put it face down. For her, Valentine's Day is an unpleasant reminder that she is still single. It isn't surprising that Valentine's Day has this effect on many single women. But my single male friends tell me that that Valentine's Day actually has the opposite effect on them. Even men who are in search of a girlfriend tell me it is great to be "totally single" on Valentine's Day because there is no pressure. Most men, at one time or another, have experienced the pressure to perform on this holiday when they were in a new relationship. They complain about the expense and the expectation. They wonder: are flowers and candy cliché? Are they really necessary? If you start dating someone at the end of January do you have to drop $100 on dinner and gifts? And what if the woman has purchased a gift for you and you didn't get anything for her?

Many women have a 'checklist' for Valentine's Day that includes flowers, candy and lingerie. Wouldn't it make more sense to ask whether he is he loyal, kind and loving the other 364 days of the year? What, if anything, does Valentine's Day mean to you? How will you spend it this year? If you are dating someone and you haven't had a conversation about it yet, what would you tell him or her?

Posted At: 02:16 PM  | Permalink  | Comments (13)

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